Wild_Silence's Xanga

Sunday, March 04, 2007

Sun, 04 Mar 2007 22:48:52 GMT

I have returned...

...for the moment. I haven't alot of time, as teaching has been keeping me busy. This weekend I went for a five mile run in the dark with my sister...as we ran I thought about the importance of solar panels on houses...simultaneously we watched the eclipse of the moon. Now I'm waiting for the weekend to be eclipsed by the return of my wife from the sky coming from Chicagoland. I've been waiting since she left for the weekend.

Sunday, December 17, 2006

Sun, 17 Dec 2006 03:14:14 GMT

Cash Is...

...my new music buddy.

I spent the evening grading...I've graded along with the help of my folks for about 2-3 hours. I have two more days till break...then I'll be free for a week or two. Honestly...this week has been the longest week of my life. I didn't think I was going to get through the fire, but I did. Every day is a miracle day for me...as I've said before I'm taking everything one step at a time.

AD wants a dog. She is reading the book: Marley & Me.

Almost finished Christmas shopping...more importantly visited the library to pay some online bills. Thanks to AD...we had steak last night...with some Chianti wine - except the cork was stuck...hard core stuck. The corkscrew wasn't powerful enough to take the cork out, so I took a knife and carved out most of the cork...then pushed the rest down into the wine. Yes...we had some cork floaties, but the wine was ours...a little cork doesn't hurt.

Sunday, November 26, 2006

Sun, 26 Nov 2006 20:14:36 GMT

Naked Trees Rest...

...in the dying sun's light as I just finished typing out my online discussion on deterrence and defense. The sky is super blue...the sky was super blue yesterday. AD and I drove up to the Peaks and walked up Flat Top...we took off for some rocks near the top and napped for half an hour in the sun. The experience was relaxing...just us on top of a mountain surrounded by quiet...with the whispers of mountain wind echoing through the forest. I belong in the woods...I find joy in the general revelation...everything was grand.

Tomorrow...I let go of the woods and enter the classroom. Trying not to dread...asking for contentment...and nuggets of joy. We had a splendid Thanksgiving with AD's sisters, niece, and brother in law...Sarah, Kurtis, Kate, and Becca...lots of fun as we all went over to my folks place with my siblings. Food galore...dance party...lots of conversation. Kate is a lil ole fire ball...I made sure to capture plenty of footage on camera. Wonderful time. Didn't want any of this week to end.

Oh...don't rent Praire Home Companion...just listen to the show on the radio. I'm not sure why they made a video...unless this was a marketing move. The movie essentially is the show on video...except hollywooditized. Not for me...I felt like I wasted money...well I did since I can just listen to show on public radio (my tax dollars at work).

Wednesday, November 22, 2006

Wed, 22 Nov 2006 01:27:38 GMT

Word Of ...

...the day is BALLIN. This is what my kids recycled from their voice boxes over and over again...from the girls to the guys. I'm outta touch with the music scene...until today. I've learned a new word - BALLIN. What this means I'm not sure...I'm guessing this is linked to basketball. One of my 9th graders asked me if pimps existed during Ancient Greece...I told him I have no idea. Does anyone know if Sparta, Athens, Thebes...Minoans or Mycenaeans had pimps...urban city state pimps? I won't see the kids for several days...let me recharge over some food and fellowship...maybe I'll do my kind of BALLIN with the croquet set.

Sunday, November 19, 2006

Sun, 19 Nov 2006 22:43:58 GMT

Summary...

...of the week - I didn't think I'd get through the week. Friday was my war day with the kids...wrote four referrals. Most of them are coming from a different world...the darker side of society. I'm growing stronger because of them...as all crucible experiences do. Saturday...AD and I went to Charlottesville. Walked into the local outdoor store and wished I could have gone on a shopping spree...AD harassed me about Michigan losing...I was cheering for Michigan...then I cheered for Cal. Both of my teams lost...good thing I wasn't betting any green. I graded till 1:00am. Today spent the day at the house, as continue with my internet class. Still must finish grading some tests...then some other assignments...then come up with some review sheets for tomorrow. Kids have their tests on Tuesday...then they'll disappear till the next Monday, unless I see one of them out or about the town.

Sunday, November 12, 2006

Sun, 12 Nov 2006 22:12:15 GMT

My Emotional Clutch...

...is burned out. I feel like a zombie. I'm exhausted. I've covered almost every emo landscape this weekend from Friday to now...I'd I'm fried. The thing is I don't transition from one extreme emo situation to the next...I need the 20 minute commercial break, but this weekend I've been zooming from one situation to the next - 120 mph.

I'm just starting on what I need for tomorrow. I don't like thinking about tomorrow, especially when tomorrow is Monday. I have found that I include Sunday 5pm with Monday 5am...just the beginning of the week. I don't like the stressful feeling of thinking about school and the classroom full of kids. I'm at the point in my life where I never thought I would be...viewing my life in one week segments...just trying to get to the weekend. I saw the mountains this afternoon driving out to the house...I told AD that today would be a day to go to the mountains and walk in the woods. I can't go to the mountains...because of the preparation needed for work the next day when 120 something people are waiting for you to put on your act. I've decided I'm not front of the room type of person...I prefer being behind the scenes, but in front of the spot light...unless its on my own terms versus anothers. I wanted to go to the mountains today...but I pragmatic realism held me back.

Well its 6:02pm...I still must lesson plan for tomorrow...and the next day. I have 40 plus tests to grade, along with other assignments. I'm exhausted...and I don't want to do anything but go to bed. I remind myself of a friend and his son.... every day after doing their secret handshake before the son goes to school the dad says, "Winners never Quit and Quitters never Win." With this in the back of my mind....I don't quit.

Sunday, October 29, 2006

Sun, 29 Oct 2006 22:05:11 GMT

Changing Landscapes...

create a war within the depths of my soul. The roads of Bedford County will never be the same. AD and I traveled on gravel mountain roads to Starbucks...the backway to Starbucks. I remember early morning weekend drives through the country side on the way to childhood soccer games...these roads blessed my child spirit, but this weekend I witnessed the blight of progress. The rustic winding road has been transformed into a straight away...the over hanging trees...the wicked curves...the green grass... - all of this is no more. I'm a traditionalist when it comes to preserving the countryside. I go crazy seeing country fields being turned into plots of land for sale...to put up a paper and toothpick house. I'm for progress, but I don't trust American business because I know the dollar rules over the preservation of the environment. Realitor companies don't think about the long term consequences. For now...I'm taking in the last of the landscape and the country roads before everything is turned into a parking lot.

This book by O'Reilly made a splash on the Oprah show...created a bit of discussion, but argues some interesting points about America and an ideological battle within America. I'm not reading it now...but I think O'Reilly's pitch on the Oprah show has got me hooked...so I'll add to his pocket and purchase the book.

Thursday, October 26, 2006

Thu, 26 Oct 2006 20:37:43 GMT

Never had a Fun...

...day in my AP classes in high school. My advance students keep begging for a day when we can do nothing and they can just sit around and talk and have fun with food and drink and jovial spirits. I keep laughing and telling them...NO. When did students in highschool ever have a day off for refreshments and talk...I don't understand...sometimes I wonder if advance kids would be the average kids of the past? I don't know...maybe not...but it kills me to think of giving my advance classes a break. I don't understand...honestly I don't think I'm working them hard enough.

Cross country teams are going to regionals. Our top girl ran 3.1 miles in 18:46...she's on the move. The guys inched into regionals by the skin on their teeth...by 3 points. Today we ran at PeaksViewPark...on the trails for 40 minutes. I've decided I enjoy trail running...you lose track of time and you can just go except I find it hard to pace. I wish I had a camera for pictures of the forest floor...yellow maple leaves littered...covered parts of the trail. I could have stayed out there for a while longer....

God gave me a miracle day...actually I've decided since I've begun teaching that every day so far is a miracle day for me.

Sunday, October 22, 2006

Sun, 22 Oct 2006 21:25:36 GMT

First Car In...

...the leaf covered parking lot surrounded by tall monster trees...I beat the fall leaf viewing pack to the punch. I've decided best time to get to the mountains is early in the morning when the sun is just coming up, because this is when the frost is still alive, the woods are still singing, the colors are glowing...etc. I missed the yawning of the morning light...next time I'll catch the sun on Flat Top. I watched from the top as hundreds of metal boxes climbed the thread thin asphalt trail to the lodge. I let my spirit soar off the mountain top with the buzzards and falcons...I was climbing the heights.

I spent my time in the mountains...letting general revelation heal the wounds of the week. My baby is gone to Ohio...I've spent my time focusing on mountains and grading. I've graded like a mad man, but I have a bit more to do...plus planning. I'm learning. I was up till 3:30 on Saturday evening grading...call me crazy (My students thinking I'm pyscho...I ate a 3 day old fruit fly breeding apple in front of my ninth grade class.) I suppose I'm crazy...I consider myself wild...wild with harnessed craziness. I've been reminded of God's goodness over and over...this has been a weekend where I've experienced just about every emotion...gotta go grade.

Sunday, October 15, 2006

Sun, 15 Oct 2006 19:07:29 GMT

Dusty Country Road brings...

...a rush of inspiration from reds, yellows, oranges, browns, greens...and the smell of the woods. I love the smell of nature...the smell of earth and dry leaves combined with the sweetness of meadow grass. My senses long for the constant touch of the outdoors. AD and I were feeling trapped today...caught in the box...SO off to starbucks for some coffee and then for a country drive out to the house. I haven't travelled on Coffee Road in a long time...a road where a crowd of thoughts came rushing into my mind...reminding me of my roots...of the childhood joys. I needed the good drive to shake off the frustration that work owns me...the outside preparation that teaching demands is something I wasn't entirely expecting. If you want to do something well, one has to put the time into the process...teaching is a profession where you are expected to mold and to shape the minds of individuals who bring in old ways/old thinking/old habits...such a violent process...warfare. A painful process of conflict...I've learned teaching is a challenging task as one fights against the norms of society - therefore the rewards must be great. I'm learning that teaching will not quench my thirst...my hunger...my undiscovered passion.

...Passion - finding a passion that is big enough to quench the thirst of a person's soul...understanding that there is a grave responsibility as one live life on earth. I'm learning that not everyone receives the lightening zap...that electrifies the soul and opens up a portal into the future. I'm learning that the vision for my life is a puzzle...put together piece by piece...one step at a time.

Crosscountry season has about three more weeks...we are tapering in preparations for districts and regionals. The kids had their meet their maker day on Saturday. AD and I went to a pet shop and AD had me hold a puppy dog. No we are not getting a dog...not for a while...maybe a sandfire bearded dragon.

Nothing like having a dragon running around the house or to sit on your lap while you drive the dusty country roads.